Welcome, minions! I'm Chairman McSnooze, the greatest meeting facilitator the world has ever seen! My meetings are legendary for their length, their redundancy, and their general lack of productivity.
Here's a breakdown of our meeting methods:
- We start every meeting with a 30-minute icebreaker where we all introduce ourselves.
- We then spend 45 minutes discussing the agenda, which we've already discussed at length in our previous 12 meetings.
- We take a 15-minute break to grab some coffee and contemplate the meaninglessness of life.
- We spend 20 minutes rehashing the same old ideas that have been rejected 10 meetings prior.
- We conclude with a 5-minute wrap-up where we all agree to meet again next week.
And don't even get me started on our meeting tools! We have a 50-page PowerPoint presentation that we've been working on for 5 years, but we've still not finished it.